Goodbye Old Paint

This is not a picture of our adorable child. This is a picture of our kitchen. Its a very long story but we are FINALLY getting our waterdamaged, dirty, nasty-ass kitchen redone. To give you an indication, we met with the first set of contractors while I was on my maternity leave. After much ado and the threat of a lawsuit it looks like Monday will be the first day of demolition. Goodbye old waterdamaged bulkhead as seen above. Goodbye waterdamaged, ugly ceiling tiles.And and extra special goodbye to you, you nasty brown stove that won't heat up unless one of the burners is going. Of course the downside of all of this is the disruption. Personally, I'd be alright with eating all of my meals out for 2 weeks. However, we have this baby and that's not really going to fly. Plus, he plays in the kitchen alot. This will be a tough one for him to take. Today, for example, was another fingerpaint day as I had decided I was going to give him an apres nap bath. There will be no fingerpainting in anyroom but the kitchen, thank you very much.

So tomorrow, the grocery shopping will consist of paper plates, paper cups and prepackaged, don't need to refrigerate until opened containers of milk. Not very green but we'll make up for it when our new lives commence. Which, of course, will be when the kitchen is done.

We're so close. I can barely stand it.

OH: And I almost forgot. Donny went back to the doctor as his rash was sticking around, which was not consistant with the diagnosis of St. Vitus Dance, I mean, Fifth Disease that he got last week. His regular doctor looked him over and the verdict is: ECZEMA. I was told to get a prescription for hydrocortosone cream and then to "moisturize the heck outta him" in this cold weather. Donovan really doesn't like the hydorcortosone and I don't either--it doesn't really sink in so he looks like he's too drunk of a clown to get all the grease paint off. His skin, tho, looks soooo much better. Par example:

Plus, he's not contagious. That makes for happy daycare teachers.

While the Elephants Put Up The Tent, The Bearded Lady Goes Into Town

This has happened to me alot since last April but today's was the best yet:

Donny and I are going into Uncle Sam's. Lady walking by stops in her tracks:

LADY: Awww! He's adorable!
ME: Thanks!
LADY: How old is he?
ME: 21 Months.
LADY: [Pursing her mouth and looking Donny up and down] He's tiny!
ME: Uh..
LADY: He your grandson?
ME: No. He's my son.
LADY: Really?
Me: Really.
LADY: How old are you?
ME: 42
LADY: Get aht! Really?
ME: Really.

That was at 11:45. At 12, waiting for the bus I was asked TWICE by TWO different people if Donny was my Grandson.

Look: I know I've let myself go. That and I'm trying to grow out a bad haircut. BUT COME ON already! Obviously the time has come to make a statement: I'm going to hang myself with a pair of support hose.

Seriously, tho: what kind of mess am I? Is intervention necessary?

Back to the kid: you may be wondering what he and I are doing in Squirrel Hill on a Friday afternoon. When I picked him up yesterday, his little note from daycare said that his face had been breaking out and his cheeks had been flush and that I should take him to the doctor in case he had--I'm forgetting the name of it but it sounds like imbroglio or embargo. So we did go to the doctor and it turns out he has Fifth Disease. I'd never heard of it but apparently its a viral infection that causes a rash on your face, causes your cheeks to flush and, after 3 days, causes a quick fever and a rash all over the body and then its done. The doctor explained all of this and I wanted to say, "See--now you're just making shit up." I'm still not sure that's what this is but its not whatever that word is and its not strep--tho the doctor said that Donny's tonsils were very large. Also, this disease Donny apparently has isn't really contagious but pregnant ladies shouldn't be exposed to it. One of Donny's teachers is pregnant. The doctor said that, if she's in the final stages of pregnancy its not a problem but I wouldn't feel right taking him in knowing that, so here we are at home. He's down for his nap and I'm wondering what I should do with this precious and rare daytime babyfree hour at home...

Hi There.

Hello, Friends--its been a long time, yes, but even I was getting tired of photos of Donovan in his highchair. I need to invest in some new backdrops.

Things are going well at Chez Donny. The holidays are officially over as the tree is down and the decorations have been packed away. We are all back to our daily grinds, which doesnt make for good copy.

Like most of the midwest, Pittsburgh is in the middle of a cold snap. There is a wind chill advisory that was announced today (Thursday) that runs thru Saturday. Getting the kid home from daycare yesterday was a travesty that involved a bus too full to board, a shrieking child and a desperate trip to Wendy's for warmth for both of us and fries to block up the kid's piehole. The one good thing that came out of it? Donovan discovered catsup. That was fun to watch.

There are things brewing about which I can say no more. Good things, positive things but still too early to tell things. Stay tuned.

Baby Meets the 80s

I stayed home with Donny yesterday. I'm sure he'll be glad to know that I'm going to tell the internets all about his butt. One minute he was fine, the next he had diaper rash that was bad enough to make his Mom call off of work. I'm not sure what was going on but the poor kid had a rough, rough night so he and I stayed home together.

For a boy with a raw butt he was very good company, even if he did eschew his normal nap. No nap for baby meant no down time for Mom and, eventually, we ran out of things to talk about. I had put him in his crib to pace back and forth while I checked email and the like (the office is right next door to the nursery). He fussed so much I ended up bringing him in to sit on my lap at the computer and we ended up watching old music videos on Youtube. I should preface this by saying that, with a lack of any parental intent or design, Donny doesn't watch TV. Our TV only gets two stations (we're too cheap for cable) and the room the TV is in is too cluttered for babies. At any rate, I was really surprised, both in the attention he gave to the videos and also to see what ones he responded to. It all started with David Bowie as yesterday was his birthday. This is the Bowie one Donny seemed to like the most:

I felt very much like an old lady, trying to remember videos (do they even still call them that? Do they even still make them?) and hitting a wall at the end of the 80s. Still, that was a good era for videos, wasn't it? I mean, I remembered a few I thought were at least pretty to look at.

Actually, I take back part of that last self disparaging remark. This is the video Donny liked the most. When Mike got home from work, I made Donny watch it again so Mike could see his reaction and the kid didn't disappoint. Apparently, Christopher Walken is to Babies what Monty Python is to shmugendorks: Hi-LAR-ious.

Donny and Mike just left the house and its not even 7am yet. Mike is taking Donny to a store meeting and then to daycare. Hopefully, all of us will get thru the day and turn up on the other side of the week: Happy Friday, everyone!

Ho Tihs

While we were in Elyria for Christmas, I was sitting alone in my folks' kitchen and, for some reason, I was remembering a game my Dad and I used to play. I guess its not so much a game, but he liked to read things backwards and we would do that with signs and headlines and the like. My Dad, if I may say so, has good comedic delivery and he has this intonation he uses to overplay the Being Proud Of Yourself voice. That's the voice he would affect when saying his own name backwards: "Novonod Drofneb!"

"Novonod." Suddenly it hit me: Novonod is Donovon backwards, but only if you spell it with 3 "o"s. Not 2 "o"s and an "a". I had misspelled my son's name.

That's the type of mistake you, as a mother, keep to your damn self. I did'nt tell anyone, not Mike, not Sheryl, nobody. Except my Mom and even that was couched in a question. "How does Dad spell his first name?" She thought a moment. "D-O-N-O-V-O-N." Damn.

Today the phone rang at about 10am. I answered it fully expecting one of those robocalls. Instead it was my very breathless Mother, whose hello to me was "Is that you? Dad spells his name with and "a". Ok? Bye now." I felt like I'd gotten a coded call from the Cold War era KGB.

Nevertheless: WHEW.

Apparently There is a Coal Shortage

Hello, friends, and welcome to After Christmas. It was a nice holiday, tho I'm glad to be on the other side of it. I'm typing as the boy takes his afternoon nap and I'm hoping he will stay asleep just a littttttle while longer. It's just me and him today and I've got alot to do.

ANYhow, I had all of this past week off of work and Dononvan had all this past week off of daycare. We had alot of fun and he was good company but the lack of routine played hell with his sleeping schedule. All that post-baby-bedtime champagne and shrimp cocktail time the husband and I were looking forward to--did'nt get too much of that in, I'm sorry to say. Christmas Eve was particularly bad, despite our dire warnings about Not Getting Any Toys. I guess when you try and raise a kid off the consumer grid you cant really leverage consumerism as discipline tool. Oops. The kid also discovered that one way to get Mom to yell is to stand on the furniture. I was going to do a photo montage of Donovan Standing on Chairs but this is the only one I have for you: The chair is in the Fussy Baby Room at the First Unitarian Church. We tried to attend their Solstice service. Mike told me afterwards that it was very nice.

Christmas was here in Pittsburgh this year and the kid got many great gifts. The most popular out of the bag was the set of Felted Ladybugs. The least successful? The apparently horrifying Jack In the Box, which sent our child shrieking into my arms. And, no, it doesn't have a clown, it has a teddy bear.I guess that's still a shock to the delicate young system. The Shanley family showered the boy with gifts and attention. Aunts Claire and Heather won that heat of the popular toy contest with their 123 book by some graphic artist whose name I'm forgetting but who, like all great artists, is from OHIO. Donny also got a swell ski vest that I plan to parade him around in once he wakes up and has some lunch.

Next came Christmas in Elyria, which was the day after Christmas. Donny cleaned up there again and made everyone very happy, especially by playing most with the paper bag his gifts were in:Unfortunately the first day of that visit was cut short as 3 hours in the car seat and a few more hours without a nap took its toll on the boy. This trip we booked a room at the Elyria Holiday Inn. Donny was very happy to have an unencumbered space in which to run. That and we mixed our parental signals by encouraging him to jump on the bed. Of course, once we left my folks' house, the boy got a second wind. Not knowing what else to do with him, we took him across the hotel parking lot to the Midway Mall. Those of you who grew up in that Mall, such as myself and Aunt Shirley, might be horrified to know that there is now an Armed Forces Recruiting Office AND a "Truth Booth," which is this big, light up marquee that plays a loop of fetus pictures. Because there is obviously no teen pregnancy problem in Elyria, Ohio, no sir. At any rate, the mall worked its magic:The next day we visited the folks again and then the Aunts. Then we drove home, dipping liberally into the tines of Christmas cookies that were forced into our hands as we left. We came back to a cluttered house which we proceeded to make more cluttered with boxes, tissue and gifts galore.

Good times and good to be back. Onwards to New Years!

Know Thyself: Ew.

Ooof!

That is the sound of being hit in the stomach by the realization that you are one of those mothers. Not the coiffed mothers you see in their high heeled books and very clean and fashionable wool coats, toting their coiffed children hither and yon. Not the very pleasant Moms I see at Donny's new school, who always have a smile and a greeting and who seem like the types of gals who subscribe to both Bust and Mother Jones. No--I'm the mother who forgot to put on deoderant before leaving the house because she had to write an apology note to go in the lunch bag she grabbed yesterday at Waldorf not realizing it was'nt hers and who thought "I should put a little something in that bag to make up for trashing it on the two bus rides it weathered" but decided that she was just too attached to that sample of Holiday Tea to make such a grand and selfless gesture.

That's the Mom I am.

The holidays are here and I'm whirling and scrambling and this is after I made the exectutive decision that Christmas in Ohio would be a much scaled back production. Thank god I did that in time. It all throws into high relief the need for some serious lifestyle changes. I've got a few ideas percolating but I'll keep them to myself for now. After all, this blog is supposed to be about Donovan. Not about me.

That being said, watch for photos from the Library Christmas party. I was'nt going to bring the kid but there's a hardcore fan faction here they were not taking no for an answer. More on that later.