Friday, January 23, 2009

While the Elephants Put Up The Tent, The Bearded Lady Goes Into Town

This has happened to me alot since last April but today's was the best yet:

Donny and I are going into Uncle Sam's. Lady walking by stops in her tracks:

LADY: Awww! He's adorable!
ME: Thanks!
LADY: How old is he?
ME: 21 Months.
LADY: [Pursing her mouth and looking Donny up and down] He's tiny!
ME: Uh..
LADY: He your grandson?
ME: No. He's my son.
LADY: Really?
Me: Really.
LADY: How old are you?
ME: 42
LADY: Get aht! Really?
ME: Really.

That was at 11:45. At 12, waiting for the bus I was asked TWICE by TWO different people if Donny was my Grandson.

Look: I know I've let myself go. That and I'm trying to grow out a bad haircut. BUT COME ON already! Obviously the time has come to make a statement: I'm going to hang myself with a pair of support hose.

Seriously, tho: what kind of mess am I? Is intervention necessary?

Back to the kid: you may be wondering what he and I are doing in Squirrel Hill on a Friday afternoon. When I picked him up yesterday, his little note from daycare said that his face had been breaking out and his cheeks had been flush and that I should take him to the doctor in case he had--I'm forgetting the name of it but it sounds like imbroglio or embargo. So we did go to the doctor and it turns out he has Fifth Disease. I'd never heard of it but apparently its a viral infection that causes a rash on your face, causes your cheeks to flush and, after 3 days, causes a quick fever and a rash all over the body and then its done. The doctor explained all of this and I wanted to say, "See--now you're just making shit up." I'm still not sure that's what this is but its not whatever that word is and its not strep--tho the doctor said that Donny's tonsils were very large. Also, this disease Donny apparently has isn't really contagious but pregnant ladies shouldn't be exposed to it. One of Donny's teachers is pregnant. The doctor said that, if she's in the final stages of pregnancy its not a problem but I wouldn't feel right taking him in knowing that, so here we are at home. He's down for his nap and I'm wondering what I should do with this precious and rare daytime babyfree hour at home...

3 comments:

clr said...

It's sort of the opposite of when I get carded. It's not that I look young, it's that I'm going to a bar where 19 year olds hang out. It's not that you look old, it's that you're in places where people have kids at age 16.

JENNIE, MIKE & DONOVAN. said...

Please introduce me to some of these 19 year olds you've been drinking with. I'd like them to take me clothes shopping.

Joking aside: thanks for your vote of confidence.

sharon said...

I had Fifth Disease when I was a kid. It's for real, and then forgettable. :)