Sunday, August 9, 2009

What's a Girl to Do?

I thought I would be part of the New Parental Order but things haven't turned out that way. While everyone was waving the Breastfeeding flags I got to sit in doctors' waiting rooms surrounded by posters telling me what a bad mother I was because breastmilk is SO MUCH BETTER than formula. Oh well--its not like we could afford college for him anyhow. Also, the whole circumcision thing. That's all fine and good except the boy needed a little surgery Down There because he was born with a chordee--very common, very minor birth defect. But of course, all the hip moms with boys that I've ended up talking to have to assure me that WE would NEVER do THAT to OUR boys.

Again: Sigh.

And now its the food. The kid simply will not eat. We usually get a note from daycare written on a re-used quarter of a sheet of paper. Friday, it was a full page: if Donny won't eat breakfast than they'll give him an early snack and he doesn't really like the barley or the rice (in my defense: he does at home). They noticed he likes when I pack mac and cheese and pasta with sauce. Well, alright then. Gerber's and Velveeta it is. I suppose I shouldn't be too upset--I got the Gerber's Graduates today for two reasons. First, his grandmother gave him some and he ate it all. Second, they were on sale for a dollar a piece and part of my broken heart about feeding the kid is the sheer amount of food I throw out. Last night I stayed up late and mixed up some pancake batter from scratch--not a huge effort but enough of one. Two bites and the rest went on the floor. If I'm going to throw out something it may as well be on sale and not something I actually care about.

That sounded terrible, didn't it?

Well, while I'm sounding terrible, allow me to bitch about church today. Earlier this week, some wackadoo just outside of Pittsburgh gunned down about a dozen women, killing three of them. Its been a rough week hearing about the ladies who were killed and hearing bits and pieces of the shooter's hateful blog and diary. It really stuck in my craw that the guest minister at church today opted not to mention it AT ALL. Apparently today was Peace Sunday for the Unitarian Church and it looks like they had the program already set up. If that wasn't bad enough, the minister was playing cheerleader, trying to get everyone to Get Up and Dance In the Aisles! if we were so moved.

Its important for women, girls especially, to know that its not their job to fix people who need help beyond what any one person can give. The minister was lax in not talking about this situation. I'm also shocked that, in a congregation filled with outspoken liberal women apparently none of them felt strongly enough to say, "Why don't we skip a few choruses of 'Where Have All The Flowers Gone' so we can fit some words in about the shooting?" Because I can't be the only person who struggles with wondering if compassion can be a measurable commodity. I can't be the only one thinking, "Great: another big room full of people who don't think this is important."

Sometimes I miss Catholicism.


Amy Grant, Stella Dot, & Lemmy said...

(1) You are a great mom. (2) You are one of my favorite feminists [top three -- you'll have to guess the other two]. (3) You think the Catholics talked about it this week??!! Keep in mind that they've had the same script for 1,000 years; only the language has changed.


Oh, Pink: you kick such righteous ass. Thanks for the love and support. Sometimes I need it more than others--I hope I return the favor when it needs returning.

In defense of the Catholics, maybe they did'nt address the shooting but at least they have little candleracks squirreled away all over their churches where you can light a candle and pray to a rouge saint or two about specifics. In comparsion the Unitarian approach this week seemed so modern and one-size-fits-all as to be shallow. Plus, I am really tired of hearing rich white people sing spirituals. Catholics at least stick to what theyre good at musically.