A Typical Day

6:30AM: Husband wakes me up. He's been up since 5 working on an article that's due later today

6:45AM: Husband wakes me up again. This time it works

7AM: Burn first waffle, eat second. Read funnies and skim world headlines.

7:15AM: Go upstairs to wake baby

7:40AM: Pass off awake but sleepy baby to Husband, go take a shower

8AM: Chase child all over house. Catch him and force him into rainslicker

8:20AM: Child wins Battle Of The Rainboots. New rainboots replaced with nasty old muddy boots.

SOMEWHERE IN THERE: Make lunch for child, husband makes breakfast for child.

8:40AM: Drop off child at Waldorf. Parking lot is sea of mud. Kids are in the garden, dragging shovels thru even more mud.

9AM: Husband drops me off at CVS. Successfully negotiate with manager and end up with free photos since they did'nt have them done when they said they would. $18 value!

9:10AM: Dropped off at work. Resist urge to hide in scrub bushes on side of hill.

11AM: Nice meeting with emerti prof who is working on next installment of University history. Give into my love of intellectual wankery by changing discussion to physical landscape of Pittsburgh during WWI. This is a brief lapse and will serve as a warning, most likely for both of us.

1:00PM: Catch bus to offsite storage and, how convenient, lunch with Sheryl at China Buffet.

1:10PM: Vaguely snarky email from boss asking me who's watching the archives if I'm offsite

1:11PM: Vaguely snarky phonecall from me to colleague in archives who forgot she had an appointment when I asked her if I could leave campus.

1:15PM: Lunch with Shirley. Good chat and good bad chinese food.

SOMEWHERE IN THERE: Wrote out tax checks to state and city, mailed said checks, assembled and mailed photos of new kitchen and child to Aunts, mailed special PG insert about slain police officers to cousin in Ohio who was following story, mailed sympathy card and congratulation card (not to same person), answered buttload of emails for work.

2PM-4:45PM: Work at offsite storage: woo hoo.

5:00PM: Jump from Ann Marie's car into 54C.

5:10PM: Kill necessary time at Hallmark store. Think about how much I wish the resale shops in Bloomfield kept the same hours as the Hallmark store.

5:30PM: Go to pick up kid. Kid is happy and covered with mud. Also wearing different clothes--never a good sign.

5:30-6:05PM: Walk to busstop. Very pleasant as child is singing and laughing. Catch bus. Grateful for the gentleman who asked me if my son was my son and who complimented me on "such a handsome child." Thank you very much.

6:10PM: Child comes home and climbs directly into highchair. Cooking schedule ramps up accordingly.

6:15PM: Make child Apple and Swiss cheese omelet. Assemble Ham and Swiss Quiche while child eats.

7PM: Husband comes home. Goddamn quiche still soupy in the middle. Consider suicide.

7:10PM: Decide to eat corner pieces of (square, if you were wondering) quiche. Child has finished eating some time ago and is placed in playpen with bevy of noisemaking toys. Distractionary tactic works surprisingly well.

8:00PM: Call Ohio to check in on family. Dad is doing well despite having a less than stellar day today: no details are given. Mom chides me for leaving significant number of items there when we left. So that's where my iPod is...

8:15PM: Take child into shower with me. All is well until the rinse cycle. Nothing could possibly be worse than the rinse cycle.

8:40PM: Lay down with child 40 minutes later than I was hoping. Read him "The Little Fur Family" and try to get him to sleep. Husband goes downstairs to assemble drawers for Ikea kitchen cabinet.

11Freakin'30PM: Child is finally asleep. Go downstairs where husband is sitting in a little fort of cabinet drawers. He is given honorary title of Best Husband Ever For Dealing With That Shit. I go to make sleek so everyone has lunch tomorrow.

11:45-12:30: Unload dishwasher, load dishwasher, make sleek, see child's filthy raincoat, realize I need to do laundry, put in load of babyclothes, offer to do load of husband clothes for husband who is going to bed.

1:00AM: Realize its been a crazy but typical day and decide to blog about it. Despite high drudge quotient, grateful for lack of drama, presence of good friends, affectionate baby and patient husband.